First there was...
Francesca the adorable one,
Francesca the Forum Princess,
Francesca the columnist
and EVEN
Francesca the poet!!!!

Now it's...
Francesca the screenwriter...
and NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, the crazy cute Italian you heard about on the Oscar's was NOT me!

Well, Coppola and Puzo, hold onto your statuettes, 'cause here comes MY version of "The Godfather"...

Part I:

~~ "I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse."
(Don Corleone to Johnny Fontane about Woltz)

"I'm gonna make him a hairpiece he can't refuse."
(Mike the Barber to Francesca about Tommy Bilotti)

~~ "No Sicilian can refuse any request on his daughter's wedding day."
(Tom Hagen to his wife)

"No Forum wiseguy can refuse any request to Francesca on ANY day."
(S.M. to Robby)

~~ Sal: Tom, can you get me off the hook, for old time sake?"
Tom: "Can't do it sally"
(Tessio and Tom)

Francesca: "J.R. can you stop touting your articles on the Forum?"
J.R.: "Can't do it Cesca."
(Francesca and J.R.)

~~ "Now listen, I want somebody good, and I mean very good, to plant that gun. I don't want my brother coming out of that toilet with just his dick in his hands."
(Sonny to Clemenza and Tom)

"Now listen, I want somebody good and I mean very good to plant that gun. I don't want Cesca coming out of that toilet with just her nail file in her hands."
(Allan to Charlie and Joe77)

~~ "Fredo, you're my older brother and I love you. But don't ever take sides with anyone against the Family again. Ever."
(Michael to Fredo)

"Fredo, you're my older brother and I love you. But don't ever use my make-up again. Ever."
(Francesca to Fredo)
(in my version, Fredo lives in Greenwich Village"

~~ "But that aside, let me say that I swear on the souls of my grandchildren, that I will not be the one to break the peace we've made here today."
(Don Corleone to the other Dons)

"But that aside, let me say that I swear on the soul of my manicurist, that I will not be the one to break the peace we've made here on the Forum today."
(Francesca to the other Mafia Princesses, Gia and Melissa)

~~ "Mr. Corleone is Johnny's Godfather. To the Italian people, that is a very religious, sacred, close relationship."
(Tom Hagen to Woltz)

"Francesca is the Forum Princess. To the Forum wiseguys that is a very sacred, close relationship."
(Rick to website visitors)

~~ Sonny: "How's Paulie?"
Clemenza: "Oh Paulie, you won't see him no more."
(Sonny and Clemenza)

Francesca: "How's Dice?"
Lucky: "Oh Dice, you won't see him no more."
(Francesca and Lucky)

~~ "Mr. Corleone is a man who insists on hearing bad news immediately."
(Tom Hagen to Woltz)

"Francesca is a Princess who insists on hearing how adorable she is."
(So yuz BETTA tell me THAT alot!!!)
(Rick to website visitors)

~~ "Certainly he can present a bill for his services. After all, we are not communists. But he must let us draw water from the well."
(Barzini to the other Dons)

"Certainly other women can post messages on the Forum. After all, I'm not selfish. But I must remain THE Princess."
(Francesca to the other mafia princesses, Gia and Melissa)

~~ "Leave the gun. Take the cannoli"
(Clemenza to Rocco)

"Leave the gun. Take the blow dryer."
(Francesca to Musicgal)

Part II:

~~ "My father taught me many things...keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."
(Michael to Pentangeli)

"Becoming a Princess I learned many things...keep your friends close, but your charge cards closer."
(Francesca to JMY)

~~ "I'd give 4 million just to be able to take a piss without it hurting."
(Hyman Roth to Michael)

"I'd give 4 million just to have my nails dry without smudging one."
(Francesca to Loo)

~~ "Michael, we're bigger than U.S. Steel!"
(Hyman Roth to Michael)

("Rick, we're bigger than Gangland.com!")
(Francesca to Rick)

~~ "Yeah, a buffer. The family had a lot of buffers."
(Willy Cicci to the Senate Committee)

"Yeah, a wannabee. The Forum has a lot of wiseguy wannabees."
(Mario to Angelo)

~~ "I don't trust a doctor who can hardly speak English."
(Hyman Roth)

"I don't trust a wiseguy who can hardly speak Brooklynese."
(Francesca to Allan)

~~ "Every time I put the line down I would say a Hail Mary, and every time I said a Hail Mary, I would catch a fish."
(Fredo explaining how to catch fish)

"Every time I went into Francesca's room I would see her make-up, and every time I saw her make-up, I HAD to borrow a lipstick."
(Fredo explaining why he used my make-up)

~~ "Hail Mary, full of grace..." BAM!
(Fredo gets shot as he's fishing)

"Hail Mary, full of grace..." BAM!
(Fredo gets shot as he uses my make-up)

~~ "Michael, why are the drapes open?"
(Kay to Michael)

"Rick, why didn't my column get top billing on the home page?"
(Francesca to Rick)

~~ "I'm going to take a nap. When I wake up, if the money is on the table, I'll know I have a partner. If it isn't, I'll know I don't."
(Hyman Roth to Michael)

"I'm going to get a facial. When I come back, if you're in the chat room, I'll know I have a conversation. If you aren't, I'll know I don't."
(Francesca to Jay)
(bet you thought I was gonna say a manicure again!)

~~ "Good health is the most important thing. More than success, more than money, more than power."
(Hyman Roth to Michael)

"Good health is the most important thing. More than a sale at Sak's, more than a great hair day, more than losing 5 lbs."
(Francesca to Sliky Slim)

~~ "Where's Michael? I've got things to get straight with him and I can't wait on line."
(Connie to Mama Corleone)

"Where's J.R.? When is that Colombo piece gonna be finished? I can't wait foreva!"
(Francesca to Jerry K)

~~ "What's with him? I gotta get a letter of introduction to have a 'sitdown'?"
(Pentangeli to Fredo)

"What's with you J.R.? Every time you're on the Louie Free radio program we gotta hear about it?"
(Francesca to J.R.)

Otay, take a short intermission now...go potty...get more popcorn...WHATEVA!!!!

Part III:

~~ "I will never work for you. I have bad memories. I'll always be your son, but I will never have anything to do with your business."
(Anthony to Michael)

"I will never write a column for you. I'll always check out your website, but I'll never leave my goombahs at Americanmafia.com."
(Francesca to Jerry Capeci at Gangland.com)

~~ "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in."
(Michael to Harrison and Connie)

"Just when I thought all my nails were dry, I smudge one."
(Francesca to S.M.)

~~ Mary: "I love you cuz."
Vincent: "I love you too cuz."
(Mary and Vincent)

Musicgal: "I love you Tex."
Tex: "I love you too Musicgal."
(Musicgal to Tex)
(just kidding!!!!!)

~~ "Nephew, from this day forward, call yourself Vincent Corleone."
(Michael to Vincent)

"Francesca, from this day forward, call yourself the Americanmafia.com Princess."
(Rick and all the "boys" to Francesca)

~~ "Why was I so feared?"
(Michael over Tomassino's corpse)

"Why am I so adorable?"
(Francesca to J the Wheel)

~~ Mary's last line..."Dad?"

Francesca's last line..."Goombahs?
(well, my last line for NOW!)

THE END

caio!
francesca
p.s.: I think I included just about EVERYONE...well, ALMOST everyone
(wink!)

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