move over letterman...make room for francesca!!!!

the top ten reasons why i could NEVA be a wiseguy:

10.) it is just WAY too hard to parallel park a lincoln (those cars are like driving your living room)

9.) a gun won't fit in my purse...my make-up takes up too much space

8.) me, practice omerta? yeah right!!!! like u could ever shut me up!

7.) i could NEVA leave the gun and take the cannoli...way too fattening!,br>

6.) when i think of an "outfit", it's donna karan, NOT chicago

5.) cash? what's that?...i haven't paid cash for something in 15 years (just check with bloomingdale's)

4.) my idea of being "away" is acapulco

3.) my idea of a beatin' is breaking the rat's nails, not his knee caps

2.) since i don't do windows, i CERTAINLY don't do "laundering"

AND the number 1 reason why i could NEVA be a wiseguy is:

1.) that prison uniforms would definitely make my thighs look too fat!

it's not over yet...

the top ten reasons why i LOVE wiseguys:

10.) you know wiseguys will always carry your luggage to the car for you... they don't want you seeing what's in their trunk

9.) wiseguys have GREAT jewelry u can borrow

8.) it really turns me on when i hear a guy say "how ya doin' sweetheart?"

7.) wiseguys are always exciting me by saying "they're ready to hit the mattress!"

6.) every girl's GOTTA love a guy whose nickname is "the snake"

5.) the NY yankees and wiseguys...men who know what to do with a baseball bat

4.) wiseguys can wear really bad hairpieces and nobody's gonna say nuthin'...(just axe mike the barber about tommy bilotti)

3.) wiseguys have followings...otay, so what if it's the feds!!?? it's STILL a following!

2.) wiseguys help keep the streets clean...when things "fall off" the back of a truck, the BOYS are there to pick them up

AND the number 1 reason why i LOVE wiseguys is:

1.) when you're wonderin' if a wiseguy's got a gun in his pocket or if he's just glad to see you...
it's BOTH!!!!!

caio!
francesca

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